Challenging Relationships

We all have an idea of what that perfect relationship looks like, the one where you and your partner love and adore each other forever, sailing past the hardships of life through a deep soul connection. I used to have one of those ideas too. The truth is that relationships are not that easy, especially long term partnerships, despite the picture perfect Facebook and Instagram photos we see on a daily basis. Life happens, and relationships can become challenging and even toxic as we begin to experience stress. Often what happens in relationship, whether it is a with a parent, child, partner, spouse, or other family member is that we begin to expect others to provide the love and care that we need instead of doing and being that for ourselves. As life throws extra responsibilities with work, children, caregiving for elderly parents, life goals and other situational stresses, we do more and more for others and prioritize their needs over our own. Lack of self-care leads to fatigue, frustration, and resentment, causing a breakdown in the relationship. If other stressors like abandonment, discrimination and lack of acceptance by friends and family are present, this adds another layer. How about yet another layer with systemic racism, sexism, homophobia, or any of the other major oppressive systems? Soon we find ourselves entangled in a pretty big emotional tumbleweed., feeling out of control and even hopeless. The thing about AAIT is that as we work together to untangle one thread of the mess, suddenly we find other threads untangling. It’s kind of like untangling a long extension cord. You unlock one knot and several other feet emerge as a result. If you are feeling like an emotional tumbleweed, let’s pick it up, examine it a bit, choose a thread to untangle, and see what happens for you.